Date: June 1, 2014 at 1:51 PM
Location: 36.0845° N, 83.9675° W
Weather: 81° Cloudy
Sitting in the kitchen watching the kids enjoy the pool. Smiles. Thousands of awkward jumps from the diving board. Planning a moto-trip with friends. Attempting to convince them 250 miles per day is doable. The Blue Ridge Parkway in the Fall will be awesome. Especially on two wheels. Listening to new music for church (Hillsong’s Cornerstone, awesome!). Ally has a boyfriend visiting. The phone won’t stop ringing. Thus continues my relaxing Sunday afternoon.
As I watch the kids navigate various and random pool games, I smile. Kids left alone find ways to entertain themselves. But wait. There is this one new one. She is dark. She is beautiful. She is stubborn. She loves spaghetti for “any” meal. She is mine. I smell Ally. I breath Maggie. I challenge Emma. I guard Abbey. Yet, Lenia she is mine as well. What shall I do for her? Protect? Support? Provide? Perhaps. Structure I think. Stability. She needs it. I seek to prove. She is safe. She is welcome. She is never going to be let go. Never will she be released from the grips of this family: a family with dirty walls needing paint, a family with dirty dishes filling the sink and family of sisters with ceaseless laundry.
Today I dream. I dream of riding up the Blue Ridge Parkway in Fall struggling to stay in third gear the entire length (and avoiding my brakes). I dream of spending time with friends: long days dodging cars and challenging the clock. I will always need to get back. But mostly I dream of the day when Lenia knows what I pray all her sisters do, she is safe. Perhaps she does?
The music continues. The kids are out of the pool. They are ready for a movie. Things are settling down. The dryer just buzzed. Thus, my relaxing Sunday continues.
“My hope is built on nothing less that Jesus’ blood and righteousness.” Those lyrics. Meant for me?